We all know the drill by now. Having happy and healthy relationships is crucial for our well-being and self-development. This is especially true for romantic relationships, and more specifically for the purpose of this article, lesbian relationships. With this in mind, I’ll be sharing some lesbian couple goals that will ensure you build a solid and healthy relationship with your partner.
While we all know that healthy relationships are good for us, we often settle for less than that. We allow ourselves to be caught up in toxic behaviours that can be detrimental not only to our relationship but all other areas of our lives as well.
I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships in the past. But I’m grateful to say that I’m now in a loving, happy, and healthy relationship that has enhanced my life in ways I could never have imagined.
Having experienced both types of relationships and the impact that they’ve had on my life, I felt compelled to share some advice on what makes a relationship happy and healthy. So without further ado, let’s dive into those lesbian relationship goals that you came here for.
Benefits of a Healthy Lesbian Relationship
Before we dive into our lesbian couple goals, let’s talk about the benefits of building a happy and healthy relationship. I should point out that getting to this position isn’t always easy. It will require patience, commitment, and perseverance on both of your behalves. And you should be prepared to work on yourself and your past traumas if you’re going to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Unfortunately, this isn’t a comfortable process, which is why so many of us end up stuck in toxic relationships. Many of us don’t want to confront traumatic experiences from our past. But unless we do so, it is impossible to unlearn the conditioned behaviours that make our current relationships unhealthy.
While this all might sound daunting and a bit like hard work, I can promise you that the advantages make it all worthwhile. Time spent working on yourself is the best investment you can ever make. Not only will your relationships benefit, but so will all other areas of your life as well.
I could speak forever on this topic, but I will save that for another time. For the purpose of this article, let’s look at some of the benefits of having a healthy romantic relationship in your life.
1. You will Have a Support System
When we have a supportive, loyal, and loving partner, it makes navigating life far more exciting and enjoyable.
Any event that happens, good or bad, becomes a shared experience. In other words, your partner will be there to revel in your achievements, and conversely, they will be there to pick you up when life gets hard.
Feeling safe in the knowledge that your partner always has your back is a confident-boosting and reassuring feeling.
2. You Will Feel More Confident
That leads me to my next point. When we feel settled and safe in our relationship, we can expect a soar in confidence.
There’s something about being loved unconditionally that makes you feel invincible – perhaps because unconditional love is so precious and hard to find.
Natalie was the first person in my life to show me unconditional love, and over time, my insecurities have faded more and more.
Confidence is a powerful quality to have in all areas of life, so it’s really worth taking the time to build a solid and healthy relationship.
3. You will Grow as a Person
Often when we get into relationships, we start to recognise many things about ourselves that we may not have noticed before. These could be negative things, or they could be positive things. But either way, they ultimately lead us on to a path of self-discovery and development.
For example, before I met Natalie, I never had any real passions or goals in life. I considered myself the least creative person in the world, and to be honest with you, I was a bit of a lost soul.
Fast forward six years, and I feel like a completely different person from who I was back then. So much so, it feels like another lifetime. Natalie inspires me to become a better person, and that right there is #lesbiancouplegoals.
So what I’m trying to say is, when we find ourselves in a happy and healthy relationship, we will inevitably grow as individuals.
4. Your Other Relationships will Benefit
I know this might sound like an odd one, but hear me out. Creating a healthy relationship with your partner can, in turn, help improve your relationships with other people in your life.
Perhaps all of your other relationships are perfectly healthy, and this doesn’t apply to you. However, the chances are you have some challenging relationships in your life that need addressing, whether it be with your parents, siblings, friends, or colleagues.
When we find a partner who is all the wonderful things I’ve already talked about, it derives a sense of contentment within us. Not only that, it helps us to recognise the areas of improvement that are required in our other relationships.
Consequently, we can confront those issues if we wish to, with the comfort of knowing our partner is there to help us through the process. Or perhaps you’ll decide that you’re tired of the drama but can be at peace with the way things are.
Either way, your relationships will benefit, as you will no longer feed fuel to the fire. By setting a few boundaries and exercising this change in behaviour, you will demand an element of respect from those around you.
5. Life will Become More Magical
It goes without saying, right? We’ve found this incredible human being to share our life with, and now we are to embark on our own lesbian fairy tale.
But seriously, though, life really DOES become more magical. It’s like unlocking a superpower, and you can look at life from a whole new perspective.
You’ll see the wonder in the smallest of things, and if you don’t, you better believe your partner will point them out for you. Oh, and every single day will be an adventure.
Honestly, even though Natalie drives me mad on a daily basis, I highly recommend it.
15 Lesbian Couple Goals for a Healthy Relationship
OK, we’ve covered the amazing benefits of building a healthy and happy lesbian relationship. Now let’s talk about the relationship goals that are going to help get you there.
Bear in mind that relationships are forever a work in progress. So, please don’t feel like you have to achieve all of them at once. It took Natalie and me many years to build the committed relationship we have now, and we continue to learn and grow as life evolves.
The idea is to have some goals to aspire to so you can build a solid foundation of love and trust with your partner.
1. You Share the Same Values
When I reflect on my relationship history, I realise that sharing the same values is one of the most vital components to a healthy and happy relationship. Sure, chemistry and having fun are great, but having shared values is key for a relationship to last the distance.
By sharing a similar outlook on life with our partner, it’s less likely that we will get hurt or upset by them. For example, if your partner has a habit of not always telling the truth, and you base your relationships on trust, that could cause problems in the long run.
Of course, your values may not always align, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Some values are ingrained because we have picked them up from our parents or friends. When we meet somebody with different values, we may decide that our values have changed.
Otherwise, if you really love and want to be with that person, you will learn to compromise. And that’s something we will talk about later.
2. You Respect one Another
Mutual respect is a lesbian couple goal that everybody should aspire to. You could argue that it’s more important even than sharing the same values.
After all, if you respect one another, that means you will respect each other’s values. So while you may sometimes disagree, you will value your relationship enough to meet each other halfway.
Respecting each other also means that you do your best not to belittle or offend your partner. Naturally, we all have moments when we can act up, but it should never become a habit.
3. You Allow Each Other Space to be Yourselves
When we get into a relationship, it’s easy to get so caught up in each other that we forget that we are also individuals. Individuals with our own needs wants, and goals.
By allowing each other space to grow and develop personally, you also encourage growth within your relationship. Conversely, when we try to control and possess our partner, our relationship can quickly turn toxic.
One of my favourite relationship quotes is: “when two givers indulge in a connection, it’s like magic. It’s alchemy. I water you; you water me. We never drain each other; we just grow.”
4. You Trust Each Other
Being able to trust your partner is one of the most powerful relationship goals you can have. It’s also one of the most difficult to achieve, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past.
I’ll be honest with you. When I first met Natalie, my barriers were up for a very long time. I found it very hard to trust anybody, which, in turn, had detrimental consequences on our relationship.
Thankfully Natalie was very patient with me, but I knew I’d have to work on this area of myself if our relationship was to last.
Today I can confidently say that I trust Natalie with my life. And knowing that we have mutual trust is a liberating feeling for both of us.
Of course, all relationships will vary and will have different boundaries etc. But once those are put in place, be sure never to break your partners’ trust. Because once you’ve lost their trust, it can be tough to get it back again.
5. You Share a Similar Vision for the Future
If your relationship is to last the distance, it makes sense that you will share a similar vision for the future. That’s why it’s good to talk about these things early on in your relationship. You want to avoid any disappointment and heartbreak later on down the line.
For example, you may have your heart set on having children, but your partner is adamant that she doesn’t want any. Or your partner insists on getting married but you don’t want to.
There’s not much room for compromise on either of these topics, so you’d have to decide whether or not you can live with their choice.
6. You Are Each Others Biggest Fan
Knowing that you have someone who always has your back is one of the most comforting feelings in the world. Therefore, it goes without saying that your partner should be your biggest fan.
Your partner should be there to support you in all of your achievements AND failures. And they will believe in you even on the days that you don’t believe in yourself.
Now isn’t that a lesbian couple goal that we should all be wishful for?
7. You Compromise
We touched on compromise earlier, and I want to reiterate that compromise is essential when building a happy relationship.
Of course, there are going to be times when you disagree with your partner. That is inevitable. But it’s how you deal with those moments that will shape the foundations of your relationship.
It’s not always easy to reach a compromise, particularly when things get heated and emotions are running high. But in most circumstances, there is reason to be found in the middle ground.
Remember, there is no satisfaction in winning an argument with your partner (OK, maybe there is a little bit). But, seriously, do you really want them left feeling hurt and defeated?
Reaching an outcome that you’re both happy with will be far more rewarding in the long run.
8. You don’t Give Up When Times Get Hard
All relationships have their fair share of hard times. But knowing that neither of you will give up, regardless of how tough they get, is one of the ultimate lesbian couple goals.
There are many reasons why relationships go through tough times. It doesn’t necessarily mean that either of you has done anything wrong. Any kind of hardship, loss, past trauma, or other tragic situations can put enormous pressure on us and our relationships.
In these circumstances, you can either become judgemental and resentful of one another. Or you can be understanding and allow the situation to bring you closer together.
As unpleasant and uncomfortable that these phases of your relationship may be, I promise that by the time the storm is over, you and your partner will be stronger and more connected than ever.
9. You Make Time for Each Other
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Because when you give you time, you are giving a portion of your life you can never get back.”
We all live busy lives, but there’s nothing more important than making time for your partner. That’s especially true if you hope to build a stable and healthy lesbian relationship.
It ultimately goes back to what I said about nurturing both your relationship and each other. When you invest time, love, care, and respect into one another, you are destined to reap the rewards.
10. You Put your Relationship First
Similarly, putting your relationship first is a sure-fire way to stabilise and improve your relationship.
Some of the things you did when you were single may not be appropriate now you are in a long-term relationship. For example, going out with your friends 3 or 4 times a week, or spending all of your money on clothes, food, or drink.
We may also be confronted with adversity amongst our friends and family when we meet somebody we want to spend our lives with.
In times like these, we must prioritise the feelings and well-being of our partner and relationship – especially if you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life.
11. You Communicate Openly
Having the space and freedom to communicate openly with your partner is an important relationship goal for lesbian couples and all other couples.
Suppose we are unable to say what we really mean. Or we feel like we constantly have to tread on eggshells around our partner. Inevitably, that will lead to some strong negative emotions.
On the other hand, when you both feel safe enough to be open and honest, you will learn more about each other, which in turn will strengthen your bond.
12. You Keep Things Exciting
“Treat her like you’re still trying to win her, and that’s how you’ll never lose her.”
Those are some wise words to live by when it comes to relationships. When we first start dating, we go out of our way to make our partners feel special. We go out on many exciting dates and have the romance metre ramped up to its fullest.
It’s only natural to become somewhat complacent in a committed long-term relationship, but we should always work to keep the spark alive.
Planning exciting date nights, leaving cute romantic notes, cooking for your partner or giving them a massage after a hard day are all ways to show up for your partner.
In turn, you will feel more connected with one another, and your relationship will always be exciting.
13. You Laugh … A Lot
You know what they say. “We don’t stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing.”
Truthfully, having a partner you can laugh with is one of the most incredible qualities you can have in a relationship.
I’ll admit I can sometimes be a little bit uptight, but Natalie has an incredibly playful nature. When things get on top of me, she knows exactly how to cheer me up, and it’s the best possible way to ease the burden.
Find a partner who’s also your best friend, and it’s impossible to fail.
14. You Embrace Each Other’s Family
An important lesson to learn in any relationship is that when we commit ourselves to our partner, we also commit ourselves to their family.
It can be daunting trying to mould into a new family dynamic, particularly if you’ve had very different upbringings. But look on the positive side and see it as an opportunity to learn new things and welcome new people into your life.
Hopefully, with some time and patience, you will start to feel like part of the family too.
15. You Always Know that You Are Loved
Last but not least, our final couple goal is feeling content in the knowledge that you have a partner who loves you unconditionally.
Their love has no limitations, and they simply love you for being you. Every last one of us deserves to have that quality in a partner, and I urge you to accept nothing less.
Take care of that beautiful rainbow heart of yours. You are precious.
Thank You For Reading
Thank you for reading! We hope you enjoyed our list of lesbian couples goals and hope that it helps you build a healthy and happy lesbian relationship with your partner. If you have any questions for us, or anything you’d like to add to the article, don’t hesitate to get in touch. You can reach out to us in the comment section below or through our contact us page.
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Charlotte & Natalie x
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